Tatters
by freedomatthesea
Summary: After the group splits apart, Emma and Killian have time to face the feelings they've fought hard to keep at bay. (There's actually like legit plot and development and feelsy pain in here, the smut's only 800 words of this).


"We should have never split up from the others." Emma lamented, for probably the fifth time since they _had_ split up from the others. Night had fallen now, however, and the dread of what _could_ occur next, weighted on both of them. That fear, wasn't placed in the fear of attack, or getting lost, or anything that would typically plague the minds of two people who were trekking through a hostile landscape. No, their fears lay within themselves. They feared one another as much as they feared what they were capable of.

"Love, saying that again and again isn't going to change the fact that we _did_ split up from them." Killian said, giving her a look that could barely be seen beneath the pale moon. "But, I don't think we'll be getting back to them anytime soon."

"I thought you said you've done this before." Emma said, pressing her palm against a tree to support herself as she tried to catch her breath. They'd been walking for _hours_ and she was done with all of this. She just wanted Henry home, she wanted to get _home_, and she wanted-

"It's been awhile." Killian said in an exhale. Emma had turned around abruptly when he'd moved to remove a twig from her hair and now they stood practically nose to nose.

Her lashes fluttered, her heart rate picking up, "It's been awhile… since _what_?"

Killian swallowed thickly, his gaze flickering to her lips, before he pulled away from her, breaking the moment with good purpose. "Since I've traversed these woods. I was a boy the last time I was here."

She didn't want him to pull away, but she was certain that it was better this way. They didn't need this complication. "Right… A _boy_. You mentioned the Lost Boys when we climbed the beanstalk….Were _you_ a Lost Boy?"

"Aye, that I was. All children who are abandoned by their fathers are Lost Boy's Emma." Killian said, pushing a vine away with his hook, allowing Emma to pass through the next hollow tree before him.

"You were abandoned?" She said, her voice wavering. They were far more alike than they knew. They'd barely scratched the surface.

Killian's gaze dropped to the ground as they fell in line beside each other as they walked. "I was left by my father when I was just a boy. Never really knew him…or my mother. I suppose I wasn't that important to them, or they would have fought to keep me." Bitterness soaked into his words and it reminded Emma of all of those times she laid on Mary Margaret's bed and talked to her about her life in foster care. All her pent up anger and hatred and bitterness.

"I know how that feels."

"I've seen that in your eyes, lass." Killian said, turning his head to look at her as they walked, "I think that's one of the things that drew me to you. The same look's there. However, _you_ have found your family. And I can insure you that we'll get your boy back. If it's the last thing I'll do."

"I want _all_ of us to go home. Together." Emma insisted, shaking her head adamantly against his words. "I've lost too much already."

"If only I could bring back the boy's father." Killian said, just barely beneath his breath. He set his jaw hard, turning away from her, "I'm sure he gave you an earful about me." He glanced at her out of the corner of his eyes, unable to not. "I didn't know you had someone."

Emma fumbled for words. "He and I-… a _long_ time ago. I don't know what would have happened if he'd lived, but I do know that… I don't think I would have ever trusted him again. Which is one of the reasons why every single thing that he said about you, fell on deaf ears for me. Because what he said didn't match up with what _you_ said. I know when someone's lying and I-…" She stopped herself and came to a complete halt. "I know that you _never_ lied to me that day."

Killian stopped a few steps ahead of her, unwilling to look at her – until she said _that_. "Then why did you do it Emma?"

"Because I know what being abandoned feels like. It happened a lot for me and after a while, I realized it was easier to lose everyone, than be lost by them." She took a hesitant step backwards when he turned around. The light from the moon barely shone where they were, but in that sliver of pale light, she could see that there was _something_ in his eyes. Either hatred or heated desire, she'd found that with them, their emotions fell on that line.

"I wouldn't have done the same to you. I wouldn't have left you. I knew exactly what you were fighting for. Your boy. A boy deserves his family." He said, looking down to break away from the heat that had flared up between them. They were playing a dangerous game and he wasn't going to be the one that compromised their situation.

"I have no intention to _ever_ do that to you again, K-.._Hook_." She swallowed shakily, "Come on, we need to keep walking." Emma's voice cracked and she started forward again.

"Emma, wait." Killian caught her arm, pulling her back to him. "After all of this is through…" He started quietly, hanging his head, "I plan to leave."

"What?" Emma said quickly, her eyes searching his eyes. "_Why_?"

"I'll have got your family back." He licked his lips, shaking his head, "You don't need someone like me around. I'll have no purpose in Storybrooke now. He knew he _could_ have a purpose, a place, even perhaps a family, but part of him doubted – the part of him that was effected by everything that was Neverland – that he could ever have what he wanted.

"I'm sick and tired of everyone telling me what I need and don't need in my life." Emma said, shaking his hand off of her arm. She wanted to say more. She wanted to grab ahold of his Goddamn face and kiss him until they couldn't breathe, but she didn't. She _couldn't_.

Emma turned away from him abruptly, starting off again, "Let's just go." She snapped, coldly, not turning back to see if he was following. She wanted to get away from him, far _far_ away – but the thought of being without him _hurt_.

She didn't know when it had become this way. Where she thought about a world without Killian Jones and felt an ache settle into her chest - one that made her second question why she was guarding her heart against him so much, when it hurt nevertheless.

Killian watched her go, staying back, just watching. Thinking. Leaving her wasn't the right option. He wasn't a coward. He didn't _run_. But he was terrified that he was going to lose this chance, just like before. The familial connections that lay there, between the family that he had _almost_ had and the family he had _now_.

_Family he had now_.

He would curse himself for another three hundred years for ever even _thinking_ those words. Because now, there was no way that he was going to let this go. Or _her_ go.

Killian headed off after her, catching her arm again, but this time she didn't pull away. "We need to talk about this." He said, sighing heavily. "We're stuck out here until morning and we might as well _talk_."

"I don't want to _talk_." Emma said, turning around to face him. It was dark, but she could still _see_ him. She couldn't make out his expression, but she had imagined his face a dozen times and she knew _exactly_ what he would look like right now. The very same face he'd had on the beanstalk that threw her off the track.

She knew what color his eyes were, how his brows arched on their own accord, and she knew _exactly_ where his lips were.

"Em-"

"I don't want to _talk_." She insisted again, cutting him off. She was tired of talking, tired of listening, tired of being told how to feel. She was done with all of it. Impulse had taken the best of her. And the best of her wanted him. Emma's hands moved to his shoulders, sliding to the back of his neck and pulling him down. Her lips crashed against his and it only took him a fraction of a second before he responded, kissing her back with desperation and _need_.

She'd never needed anyone before. She had never had a _reason_ to need someone. But there was no such thing as a coincidence – she'd learned that now. Every point in her life had lead up to Killian Jones, entering her life. She'd met him when she was open to the possibility that _maybe_ she was ready to love, maybe she was ready to let someone put her first, to be wanted and needed and need in return. Revelation after revelation brought him right back to the forefront of her thoughts. Over and over again. Hook – _Killian_ was what she _needed_.

"_Emma_." He breathed out, cupping her cheek and kissing her again. It had been awhile – he might have meant since he had been in Neverland, but he also meant since he'd let himself feel like this. Since he had let himself be with _someone_.

Emma stumbled backwards, pulling her with him as they fell back against the soft forest floor. She didn't even care where they were – that they were in the middle of a hostile forest, in the middle of the night, she only cared about him in this moment. Finally taking what she needed.

"Hook," She started, pulling away from his lips for a breath of air. Her chest was heaving, her heart hammering in her chest, pulse rushing in her ears.

"No." He said softly, lips brushing along the curve of her jaw. "That's not who I am." He used the forearm of the hook hand to keep himself above her, his other hand, raking up along her side, dragging her shirt up with it. "Say it Emma."

She inhaled sharply, her skin trembling beneath his touch, heat coiling between her thighs. She wanted him. The way his voice was a low growl when he said her name, only sought to make her ache even more for him. "_Killian_." She said, her fingers tangling through his dark hair, nails scraping over his scalp.

There was distinct ripping sound then as Killian tore the shirt off the rest of the way, not taking the moment to care that it was her _only _shirt. It had been years since anyone had said his name – his _real_ name. Emma had been the only one he had divulged that detail to when they first met, for everyone else he was simply _Hook_, there was no Killian, until there was Emma.

His lips crashed against hers, groaning against her lips as she slowly curled her legs around his hips, grinding against the hard bulge beneath his leather trousers. Everything needed to come off _now_. He was tired of waiting.

"Off." Killian rasped against her lips, his hand slipping between them and struggling with the fastenings that kept her pants closed. Instead, his slid them past the zipper, pressing against her clit through her jeans, smirking wickedly when she cried out his name – far louder than perhaps she should have.

"You're going to have to move." Emma said, trying to gather her senses to speak. Everything within her was screaming out for him and every time his finger passed over her through her jeans, her thoughts went foggy and all she could think of was _him_.

Killian shifted his weight off of her, blinking his eyes as they adjusted to the darkness that wrapped around them. He could see her, the trees above them swaying in the light breeze, casting silvery light against her pale skin. "I want them off so I can feel you." He said lowly, his voice almost a growl. "I can feel how _hot_ you are."

"Keep talking like that and even _I_ am going to have issues getting them off." Emma said as she kicked off her boots, fumbling with her zipper.

She shuddered when he leaned close, hot breath dancing over her neck, his lips brushing against her ear. "Are you _wet_ for me Emma?" He questioned, his hand ghosting over her stomach, slipping lower as she worked her jeans down her hips.

"I only have one pair," Emma said, warning him, when she felt his fingers tugging at the hem of her underwear. "_Wait_." Her shirt was already ruined and she wasn't quite prepared to have to face her mother over her underwear being torn as well.

"_Emma_." He whispered, enjoying the way she reacted every time his lips brushed her ear - the way her body trembled, the subtle fact that her hips bucked upwards. Once she finally removed her underwear, his hand slipped lower. His fingers slid over her slick folds, making her gasp, her back arching. "Look at that." He rasped out, nipping at her earlobe. "You _want_ me."

"Stop fucking around." Emma said, her hand going to the bulge at the front of his trousers in retaliation. "And fuck me." She tugged at the laces of his pants, pulling them open, making it patently clear that she wasn't interested in playing around with foreplay right then and there. The last few _weeks_ had been foreplay enough.

"This could be our only chance, Emma." Killian said, brushing his lips along her jaw. That fact was all too real. "I want you to feel-" He rubbed his thumb over her clit before he sank to fingers into her, curving them upwards. "_Everything_."

Her head fell back against the earth, her back arching. "_Killian_." She fisted his hair between her fingers, turning to face him as he started to pump his fingers in and out of her. "I want _you_." She bit down on her lip – hard – to keep from crying out, the pace of his fingers picking up.

"A _gentleman_ always insures that his lady is fully satisfied." He said, his voice thick with desire, his own ache only growing as he watched her writhe beneath his touch.

He was too much of a fucking gentleman if you asked her.

"_Oh_." She gasped, her eyes falling closed as she felt the warmth spreading through her lower stomach, her release already right on her. No one had _ever_ got her to this point that fast, or at all, if she was being honest. "Fuck." Emma gritted, rocking her hips against his hand as her release hit – hard and fast, leaving her panting his name with every breath.

"Gods, you are _beautiful_." He whispered, moving to cover her, pressing her back against the ground, his knees resting between her thighs. Killian leaned down, his lips slanting over hers, kissing her desperately. He needed her. He needed her _now_.

"Killian," Emma raked her fingers down his back, her legs wrapping around his waist, pulling him down close against her. "I need you." Emma Swan never needed _anyone_. Except now. Except for him.

That was all it took, his hand rested at her hip, holding her stead as he thrust forward – filling her completely to the hilt. He groaned, taking in the sensation of her tight warmth wrapping around him. He'd imagined this, far more than he cared to admit, and it was better than anything his mind had concocted. Because it was _real_.

Emma rolled her hips, savoring the fact that he filled her completely. Her muscles were still fluttering from the release he'd given her and she only assumed that what would come from this would be nothing short of incredible. Her nails scrapped his back, her heels pressing against his ass as she rocked her hips against him again, spurring him on to start moving.

And when he did, he didn't stop. His movements were hard and fast and desperate and needy. They moved in perfect unity, pushing each other to the very edge of pleasure, and riding through it together. They'd both be bruised tomorrow, fingers having pressed to hard, clung too desperately, seeking to mark and claim each other.

Emma had never been one for sticking around after fucking. She'd gather hers stuff, dress, and leave. But she couldn't do that now. There was nowhere to run. She didn't know where the hell she was, her shirt was torn, and Killian's warmth was keeping the cool air away from her. It was certainly unconventional, for both of them, but so had been their first meeting. There was nothing conventional about the child of Snow White and Prince Charming falling for the infamous Captain Hook.

But he had always been Killian Jones and she had always been Emma Swan. Neither a villain nor a savior, just two people who had finally let themselves believe that they were allowed to need - that they were allowed to want.

"You destroyed my shirt." Emma said, when she finally regained the ability to breathe evenly, her fingers still tracing soft circles on his back. "It's in tatters thanks to you."

"We're in the forest, you fell." Killian stated, nuzzling his nose into the crook of her neck. "You got caught on a branch and it ripped." He explained, nipping at her earlobe then. "Which will also explain any bruises or scratches you'll have in the morning."

"Reminders of something that is full of hope." Emma teased, turning her head so she could meet his gaze. "You better not go anywhere now. You're not allowed."

"I'm not missing out on my second chance, lass." Killian shook his head, a sad smile creasing his lips. "I've lost too much, to lose you too."

"You're going to be part of something now, Killian. You're part of my life." And he was part of her, the other half of her. She finally realized that she had found what she'd been looking for all her life. And she had to fall through a hat, into another realm, to get it.


End file.
